You guys need to meet my mom.
My mom is a supremely gifted and creative human being, especially when it comes to interior design and home staging. She can turn any poorly decorated room into a beautiful work of art with just a few lamps, some rearranged furniture, and a freshly painted accent wall. In fact, my mom is so creative that she managed to find a way to turn our family’s dining room area into a makeshift bedroom for yours truly. The final touches included my very own clothing rack, a comfy blow-up mattress, and the privilege of being seven whole steps away from the refrigerator. Midnight snacks never tasted so good.
During these past few months at home, things have been ‘n bietjie deurmekaar (as they say in Afrikaans). Hectic, crazy, confusing, and pretty much “all over the place” sum it up quite nicely. It started with a jetlag-induced emotional breakdown which then led to several weeks of slowly readjusting back to a relatively normal American lifestyle. Then just for kicks, let’s throw in Thanksgiving with the family, several radio interviews, a high school human trafficking awareness presentation, my Grandma’s Birthday, an exciting weekend church fundraiser, Christmas shenanigans, a few biblical counseling sessions, dinner dates with old friends, New Years Eve firework watching, last minute sleepovers, oh… and breathing. Let’s not forget breathing.
By the grace of God I’ve somehow made it to January 1st, 2018, and while the world is striving to make their New Year’s Resolutions, I’m just trying to muster up the motivation to make my bed in the morning. While the world is trying to make promises and end bad habits, I’m just trying to find the energy to shampoo my hair. The truth is—if I had the time to jot down a bunch of promises to keep for this new year—Jesus knows I’d probably just break them anyway.
On one hand, my brain thinks to itself, “Yes Sam, do the workout, pray the prayer, skip the dessert, read the book, get the sleep.” On the other hand, my heart shoots back with, “Sam, what were you thinking? That workout will make your legs burn for weeks and who really needs sleep? Not you, you’re a superhero! By the way, that thought you had last night about eating doughnuts for every single meal is a top-notch idea! Do it.” The struggle, people.
So in the midst of this new and unpredictable season of life, I’ve decided to do things a little bit differently. I’ve decided to take the pressure off of myself to perform. Instead of making promises that I will most definitely break, I’ve decided to simply aim for progress. Instead of planning for perfection, I’m choosing to embrace interruption. That way, when things go wrong, timetables get adjusted, or blunders get made, I can brush the dirt off my knees, look for the teachable moment, and get up to try again. (Pangs of guilt and shame no longer included courtesy of Jesus.) Overall, I want this new year to be a season of learning how to walk by faith, a season of learning how to grow through mistakes, and a season of learning how to receive God’s undeserved and unconditional grace. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get so caught up in my shortcomings and in never reaching “the proverbial mark” that I forget to look back at how far God has brought me, and I forget to be thankful for the moment that I’m in now.
So my friends, while we (both awkwardly and enthusiastically) stumble together through this new and fresh 2018 year—let’s take a gigantic leap of faith, go against the flow, and cut ourselves a little bit more slack.
You are loved.