It’s been twelve days since I moved back to South Africa, and I have finally overcome my jet lag. Hallelujah.
This place is as beautiful as when I left it, and it feels so good to be back.
Since I returned on the 6th, I have been attending my soccer practices on Tuesday and Thursday nights with my team, I have been attending STOP (Stop Trafficking of People) prayer meetings on Tuesday mornings, and I have been catching up with old friends. It’s been a busy past few weeks, but things are finally starting to slow down and fall into place.
My heart and my emotions, however, are all over the place. When I met with some of my friends from the Xhosa township and colored community this past week, I was at a loss. The need is so great. The hurt is so great. The poverty is so great. And here I am (a white American chick who complains about things like bad wifi signals) walking into their lives… not knowing what the heck to do. I would give them all the money in my pocketbook and all the clothes off my back if I could, but I’ve discovered that doing those things doesn’t solve the problems they face every single day. The money I give will probably go to things they shouldn’t be buying, and the clothes will probably get resold for money to buy the things that they shouldn’t be buying. It’s a deeply rooted issue that needs addressing. Throwing money at them won’t help. Just like the rest of us, they need love, hope, education, and people they can trust to really invest into their lives for the better.
So I need to pray. I need God to show me what to do, because facing these issues every single day as I drive away from my flat and into town is overwhelming and heartbreaking. As I play soccer, I need to pray. Because I need God to show me how to love my teammates, my coaches, and my opponents—and how to bring Him glory on the field with my skill. As I strategize with the STOP team, I need to pray. Because there are hundreds of thousands of girls who need to be encouraged and protected and cared for, and I am only one person in a sea of faces. As I get involved with a new church family, I need to pray. Because I need the discernment to know the truth from the lies.
I cant believe it’s only been 12 days…
But as I take one step at a time, one day at a time, I need to remember that I worship a big God. In fact, He’s a huge, gigantic, enormous, infinite God that I can’t even begin to fully fathom with my own tiny brain. There’s comfort in that.
Last night, I had a moment when I really really missed my family. It hurt. I cried. But I know that they are encouraging and loving and supporting me from afar and that gives me the strength to keep moving forward. I know that this is exactly where I am supposed to be, even if I don’t have all the “why’s” answered yet. And that’s okay, because God is good. It’s that simple.
The up’s, the down’s, the victories, the failures… you guys will hear about them all. So get your prayer stance ready and your worship hands prepped. Thank you for your prayers and support thus far, and for all of your donations that got me to this beautiful country. This is just the beginning…
Love you all.
P.S. Huge answered prayer: I am the owner of a new (used) car!
“But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus–the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.”
Acts 20:24 NLT