Is It Well With My Soul?

I have always loved the classic hymn, It Is Well With My Soul.  It’s a beautiful [and famous] song that’s sung in most Christian churches around the globe.  It’s filled with lyrics that speak of surrender, peace, and complete trust in a God Who is good and sovereign.  One verse says, “When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.”

What I didn’t know is that the author of this song – Horatio Spafford – wrote this hymn nearly a week or so after his wife and four daughters set sail on a luxury steam liner to Paris for holiday in 1873.  While he stayed behind to finish up some last minute work, the rest of his family boarded the ship.  After a short time at sea, their steam liner was rammed by a British iron sailing ship and had sunk in the middle of the ocean.  Horatio’s wife was rescued after being found unconscious – but his four daughters drowned and were killed.  Once Horatio got word from his wife about the tragedy via telegram, he boarded a boat to reunite with her.  As he sailed across the exact spot where the steam liner sank (and where his daughters were killed) – he penned the words to It Is Well With My Soul.

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Hectic.  The tragedy that Horatio faced while writing the lyrics to this song gives it an entirely new and significant meaning.  Every time I listen to the lyrics play over my iPhone speakers – I am greatly challenged by this man’s faith, and I am greatly confronted with the lack of my own.

Continue reading “Is It Well With My Soul?”

When God Gives You More Than You Can Handle

This may come as a surprise to most of you, but… I love grocery shopping.

Well, actually wait.  Let me rephrase that.  I love food.

In all seriousness though, I love getting to stroll through the aisles of Publix while basking in the vastness of flavored ice creams, dinosaur chicken nuggets, and super unhealthy breakfast cereals.  I love the smells of freshly baked breads and birthday cakes in the bakery section, and I love the beautiful sights of the rainbow colored fruits in the produce area.

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But most of all, I love trying to carry all of my grocery bags from my car to my flat in one trip – even if it means sacrificing a groin muscle or a pinky finger in the process.  I know it’s silly – but I do it every single time, and every single time I am left with bruises on my thighs and painful red indent marks across my forearms.  Some would say, carrying all of those grocery bags in one trip is more than I can handle… but I say… try me.

Continue reading “When God Gives You More Than You Can Handle”

To All My Single Ladies…

[*Girly Post Alert]

Is it just me, or have you ever felt like every human being in the world is getting engaged, getting married, or making babies right in front of your eyes on your Facebook Newsfeed – while you’re just trying to survive (in Africa), struggling to find a reason to shave your legs, and barely finding the time to take a shower.

…Anyone? No?  Just me?

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Let’s be honest.  Being single is hard, in fact, it’s harder than hard – and it’s something that I’ve been battling with since the 6th grade, when my parents told me I wasn’t allowed to date until I turned 35.  Not to mention, as a maturing Christian woman who desperately wants to do the “right thing” when it comes to dating and marriage, the struggle has been exponentially real.  This journey has been full of twists and turns, victories and failures, and butterflies and face-plants.  I know that I am not the only female in the universe who struggles with this issue, so I thought it may be encouraging to share some of the nuggets of wisdom and revelations that the Lord has been teaching me throughout this faith adventure.  I still have a lot to learn, but here are a few points that have helped me thus far… Continue reading “To All My Single Ladies…”

Let’s Get Dirty

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”    – C.S. Lewis

The word “love”—along with it’s many definitions—is splattered all over the pages of the bible.  You won’t have to look very hard to discover that love is patient and kind or sacrificial and selfless.  But this week, the Lord has been teaching me about another way to define love that isn’t spelled out as clearly in the scriptures.

Love is… dirty.

And just to be clear, I’m not talking about the bow-chicka-wow-wow kind of love…but nice try.

This kind of love is messy and uncomfortable.  It inconveniences you and it requires you to take risks.  It’s a love that suffers, that gives, and that exhausts you day after day.  It’s hard and time consuming—and it will most definitely cost you something.  It’s also important to note that this kind of love isn’t about you—it’s about them.  And to be honest, when I see opportunities to give and receive this kind of love—I prefer to yell “fire” and run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. Continue reading “Let’s Get Dirty”

Uganda: Loving Simply and Simply Loving

Did you know that missions trips have a lot in common with surprise birthday parties?

Yeah, me neither.  Until now.

Think about it.  Sometimes the events of the day catch you totally off-guard, sometimes you experience anxiety, excitement, and fear all at the same time, sometimes you stay up until the wee hours of the night enjoying great conversations with great friends, and sometimes you just can’t wait for everyone to leave so you can be alone to sleep.

Oh, and sometimes there’s cake.

I just got back from my trip to Uganda, and it was totally like a surprise birthday party—full of excitement, exhaustion, and every other emotion you can possibly imagine. Continue reading “Uganda: Loving Simply and Simply Loving”

Ants in My Pants

Before I even jump into this next blog post, I’d like to quickly open up with a little disclaimer.

(What I am about to say is not to throw myself a pity party, nor is it to make you guys feel bad for me.  It’s to share the real “ins and outs” of my brain when it comes to being a girl in ministry.  My heart’s desire has always been to be real and vulnerable with you all… so here it goes.)

Last year in South Africa, I was living in a flat with one of my very close friends and two days after my arrival, we hit the ground running with “mission work.”  Saying that I was “busy” last year would’ve been a huge understatement.  This year, I am living alone and I have yet to find my “niche.”  I came to South Africa with a ministry plan, but so far nothing has really worked out.  You’d think that I’d be used to that by now because of the way God is constantly flipping my life upside down…

Well, surprise, I’m not. 

I have always struggled with “being still” because I used to think it was a waste of time—and it made me feel guilty.  (I know, ridiculous.)  It takes everything in me to sit still on my couch for longer than 5 minutes at a time, unless of course I am eating or binge-watching Netflix.  I hate feeling like I am doing nothing of value and I hate feeling like I am wasting my time.  I’d much rather be on the move in some way or another.  You name it, I’ll do it.  But ask me to sit still in a quiet room for longer than 5 minutes… and I just may lose my mind.

So far (during these 2.5 months) I’ve been writing frequent blog posts, I’ve been playing football for Maties three days a week, I’ve been attending STOP meetings, I’ve been writing and filming spoken words, and I’ve been building some great relationships with new friends and ministry partners.  But none of that feels like it’s “enough.”  Which is making me wonder, “Enough for who, Sam?”  For me?  For God?  For my donors?  For my church?  For my friends?  For social media?

You guys should know this by now, but incase you are new to reading my blogs there are two things that you should know about me:  My two biggest struggles are “performing to earn love” and “people pleasing.”  Whew, glad I got that out.   The struggles are real.  I must say though, God has made me very aware of these struggles and He’s been helping me to overcome them every single day.  His patience and grace constantly overwhelm me, but the struggles are still very real.

It’s special to know that I am loved by an incredible God Who accepts me for who I am.  When He tells me that I don’t need to do anything to earn or keep my salvation, I believe Him.  When He tells me that He will never abandon me and that nothing will ever be able to separate me from His love, I believe Him.  But when it comes to my relationships with people… that’s an entirely different story.  There are days when my faith is overcome by the fears that I will get rejected if I don’t accomplish enough, that I will get judged if I don’t fit into a proper mold, and that I will get cast aside if I don’t live up to the expectations of others.

I think those fears are valid.

So why am I telling you this?  Honestly, I am telling you this because you’re “my people.”  I know (without hesitation) that I can say, “Hey, my people, I need help.  I am feeling alone.  I am feeling vulnerable and insecure, and I need a little extra love this week.  Please say a few extra prayers for me.”  

And I know you’ll do it.

Because that’s how love works.

We stick together, no matter how rough and tough things get.

God has been teaching me that truth and honesty, especially in regards to the hard stuff that none of us like to talk about, are crucial when it comes to doing life with one another.  Being honest about our weaknesses, flaws, and failures helps to glue us together as a family.  It puts us all on the “same level.”  I am not better than anyone reading this blog, nor am I worse than anyone reading this blog.  I may make different mistakes than you, but we are all equal in the eyes of the God who decided that we were worthy of unconditional love and eternal redemption.  Ba-bam. 

If I am not honest about my struggles or my shortcomings over here in South Africa, then the next girl who decides that she wants to become a missionary might feel too inadequate or unqualified to take the leap of faith.  I don’t want that.  I want her and everyone else to see that “perfection” isn’t a requirement when it comes to living a life of love and following hard after Jesus.  He has already taken care of the perfection part.  We are only responsible for the availability part.

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So there it is.  I know this season of my life has it’s purpose, and I know it’s necessary for my growth, but as I journey with the Lord during this strange time of “stillness,” I’d really love some prayer.  Mostly prayer to make the most out of this time, to embrace it with all that I am, and to make God’s priorities… my priorities.

Oh, and above all else, please pray that I will love at all times and in every circumstance (because there’s no better ministry than that)!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Missionary,

Sam

You Are a Warrior, Are You Not?

This week I learned something new about myself.

I hate doing things that I am not good at doing.  

For example:  Don’t ask me to sing in a public place.  I will run away.  I am not a great singer, so singing in public, in front of tons of people, would be… mortifying.  (There would also be a chance that those people would walk away with significant hearing loss.)  Also, don’t ask me to play golf.  I’ll leave that to my Dad and my little brother, Brian.  Let’s just say that the only time I tried to play golf was with my little brothers’ golf clubs when I was 16.  (Take note, I’m left handed and my little brother is not.  That should tell you something…)

But ask me to climb a tree, sketch a picture, or make french toast, and I will do it gladly.

So this week, I have been faced with several different challenges that have made me feel really inadequate, weak, and uncomfortable.  Let me lay it out for you.

Firstly:  My new friend Petunia and I had an amazing breakthrough with an idea for a ministry opportunity.  We want to work with girls ages 13-20 in the Kayamandi Township, mentoring them and empowering them through small group discussions, discipleship, bible teachings, life skills, and spoken word lessons.  We want these girls to see themselves the way God sees them, as precious and priceless young women who are loved and cherished.  We want them to take ownership of their testimonies so that they can heal from their past hurts and share their stories with the world through writing and spoken word.  This is all very exciting.  Except for the fact that these girls don’t speak very good English, nor do they speak very good Afrikaans.  They speak Xhosa.  I have no idea how to speak Xhosa.  I am going to have to learn a completely new language (with click sounds) completely from scratch.

The thought of not being able to communicate with these girls is frustrating.  So I have two options.  I can sit and pout about it, and work in a different location, or I can “woman up” and learn this new language—clicks and all.  Yes, I am incredibly weak in this area, and yes, I will probably look and sound like a fool when I first start learning.  In spite of that, I know the rewards will be worth all the embarrassment and struggles.  When I was preparing to come back to South Africa this past December, I prayed that God would keep me humble and dependent on Him.  Looking at where I am now, it’s obvious that He’s answering my prayer.  (Disclaimer: be careful what you pray for.)

Secondly:  I am playing a new position on my soccer team.  Now, this isn’t the end of the world.  Thanks to my Dad, I’ve been playing soccer since I was 4 years old, so I have a solid understanding of the game and it’s tactics.  However, I have been playing in the same position on the field for the past 13 years.  Center back.  This season, I am playing in a new position that I haven’t played in since I was 11 years old.  This is intimidating, especially at this level of play.  This week at soccer practice, I felt really dumb.  I felt like I had no idea what the heck I was doing, and it was so frustrating.  I couldn’t execute anything properly, so my confidence pretty much disintegrated into thin air.  God and I had a nice little chat about it on the car ride home.  (And by “nice little chat,” I actually mean that I had an emotional breakdown and threw a temper tantrum in the car because I was completely humiliated.)

I am an incredibly competitive individual.  If you doubt this, just ask my parents—they’ve experienced my wrath during Family Game Night’s.  So, when I fail and don’t perform as well as I want to, I get discouraged and depressed.  I do not like to be perceived as weak.  I think it’s a pride thing (that I need to get over).  But there’s an upside to this story:  When I spoke to my coach about it after practice, he responded to all of my complaining with, “You are a warrior, are you not?”

Holy Bananas.  I almost felt over.  Nothing pierces the heart more than having the truth you’ve been preaching to yourself for years being preached back in your face during a time of doubt and struggle.  His words couldn’t have been more perfect (or more convicting).  My coach was right, I am a warrior, and I love a challenge.  Where did my strength go?  Where did my boldness go?  What happened to my confidence?  It only took a few difficult challenges to forget who I am, and that’s unacceptable.  So what if I look stupid or sound stupid for the next few weeks or even the next few months?  If I practice and learn, then I will get better and grow.  It’s that simple.  I will reap what I sow.

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Last night, God reminded me of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:  “Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.  That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Instead of being scared of feeling weak or “not good enough,” I am going to work on giving my all in everything I do.  I realized that if I do my best and offer my best, no matter how flawed it may be, it is enough.  I am constantly having to remind myself that God doesn’t love me because of my soccer skills, my writing skills, or my ability to understand Afrikaans.  He loves me because I am His.  He loves me because He chooses to freely and unconditionally love me every single day, and honestly, that’s a hard thing for me to grasp.  But each day, as the Lord walks with me on this faith journey, I discover a little more about Who He is and about what it means to be His daughter.  And as each adventure and challenge unfolds before me, I am drawn one step closer into His loving and merciful arms.

Walking the Walk

“Just because you go to church doesn’t mean you’re a Christian. I can go sit in the garage all day and it doesn’t make me a car.”  – Joyce Meyer

It’s finally here—the time when I get to put feet to my faith.

I think this is one of strangest days of a missionary’s life.  D Day.  The Day just before Departure.  Imagine being filled with sadness, excitement, joy, anticipation, uncertainty, and bewilderment all at the same time.  Now multiply that by a hatred for packing and a lack of sleep from anxiety.  Now multiply that times 10.  Perfect.  Now you can understand how I feel.

It’s been about four months since I came home from South Africa, and the time has flown.  I spent time catching up with old friends, hanging out with my awesome family, doing ministry in Canada, growing with the Lord, training for soccer, worshiping at my church, and strategizing for this coming year.  It’s been a jam-packed season filled with laughter, stress, tears, and lots of Chipotle burrito bowls.  I’m grateful for it all.

I don’t think there will ever be a time when I feel “perfectly equipped” or “ready” to serve God.  Because let’s face it, I’m a hot mess.  Thankfully, all of my equipping, preparing, molding, and shaping is being done by the Spirit of God who loves to make masterpieces out of mistakes and messy hearts.  All I had to do was answer God’s call for me to go.  Which sounded something like… “God, are you serious?  Because I’m kind of freaking out a little bit over here.  I really don’t think I’m qualified for this.  I barely know how to do my own laundry.  What about EBOLA?  I’m only 24.  But if You’re sure and if You promise to go with me… then I’ll go.”

It’s so easy to talk the talk.  Believe me, I did it for years.  It’s easy to sing worship songs played by a live band in a comfy air-conditioned building surrounded by familiar faces, praising God with one hand while you hold your Starbucks coffee in the other.  It’s easy to attend bible studies, to write blog posts, and to pray for people on your “nice list.”  It’s easy to say that you trust God for provision when you live in a safe neighborhood, when you have a steady income, and when there’s plenty of food in the fridge and a car in the driveway.

But I am going to get real with you guys, I don’t want easy.  I want dirty.  I want challenging, and on some days… I want dangerous.  I want to see God show up (partly because my faith grows weak at times and I need Him to show up, and partly because I love being blown away by God’s awesomeness).  I want to fail and fall so that I can grow and change.  I want to give generously, to speak boldly, and to love recklessly—no matter what the cost.  Because if Jesus could give up everything (including His life) to rescue and love someone like me, then I should be able to do the same for others.

And let me tell you this very second, I already know that there will be days when I regret writing the paragraph above this one.  (And you guys will probably hear about it, so brace yourselves.)  Yes, the Lord promises that those days of discouragement and trouble will come, but more importantly, the Lord promises that He will forever be faithful.  Any trouble or trials that I may face have already been conquered by Christ and nailed to the cross.

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So tomorrow I leave to embark on a new adventure, and I want to ask you for prayer.  Prayers for open hearts and open doors.  Prayers for strength and courage.  Prayers for love and grace to flow out of my heart and into the lives of everyone I meet.  Prayers for dependency on the God who never fails nor abandons me.  Prayers for my family: that they will be comforted and at peace as I travel 7,000 miles away.  And lastly, prayers for the people of South Africa: for young girls to be set free from insecurities, fears, lies, and oppression—and for them to be strengthened and built up as princess warriors who are loved by the King of Kings.

Love you all.  Flight leaves tomorrow, Monday at 9:30 pm.  Let’s do this.

In and Out of Season

As an athlete, nothing feels more satisfying than sore and achy muscles after a tough workout—especially after leg day.  You know that you’ve worked hard when you can’t sit down on the toilet without wincing or falling over in pain.  (Sorry for the potentially disturbing visual.)

When I head back to South Africa, my soccer season will begin and I am sooooo excited to get back onto the field with my teammates.  Funny story though, my season literally begins the weekend I arrive.  With that being said, I needed to get my butt whipped into shape… like several months ago.  But hey, better late than never, right?

These past few weeks have been full of tight glutes, smelly gym clothes, and awkward sports bra tan lines.  My days have been filled with interval sprints, squat racks, and plyometrics – and let’s not forget about the actual soccer part.  Cone drills and cruyff cuts have invaded and taken over my dreams at night, but honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The coolest part about my training regimen is that God shows up and joins me every time I step into the weight room or out on the field.  I’ll be in the middle of doing interval sprints and then BAM, “Oh hey God, what are you doing here?”  It amazes me that He can use strength and conditioning workouts to teach me valuable and spiritual life-lessons.  I never knew that interval sprints could be so insightful (and painful, but mostly insightful).  It’s one of the things that I absolutely love about God.  He really does have His hand in everything, and He can use anything to teach us, shape us, and grow us outside of our comfort zones.  Whether it’s a sport, a job, a chore, or a family member.  He’s super creative that way.

So, while my legs were shaking and my pulse was racing, God was busy teaching and convicting.  He taught me two things that I’d love to share with you guys:

  • Firstly… God asked me why I don’t exercise my spiritual muscles the way I exercise my physical ones?  Eventually, I am going to get old and wrinkly, and at about 80 years old, I highly doubt that I will be worried about having a “bikini body.”  In fact, I think my biggest concern will be having a body that works well enough to get me to the refrigerator and then back to the couch.  So why am I spending so much time investing in what is “temporary” instead of investing in what is “eternal?”  Boom. Heart check.  When I meet God face to face, I want Him to know me.  I want Him to call me by my nicknames, and I want to be able to joke with Him about all of those awkward and glorious moments when we cried and sang and laughed together.  He’s not going to care about how fast I could run or how flat my abs were.  So, I realized in that moment, that it’s all about balance.  I need to keep my body (my temple) holy, pure, and in tip-top shape… but I also need to keep my prayer life and my relationship with the Lord in tip-top shape as well.  Plus a sobering thought: He gave me this body, so He can always take it away!
  • Secondly… God reminded me that I need to see this pre-season training and this “waiting” period (before I fly out to South Africa) as a HUGE blessing.  Let me be honest… I am one of the most impatient people in the universe.  No, really.  It’s terrible.  So when God told me to wait a few more months before returning to the mission field, you can assume that I wasn’t too “keen.”  In other words, I was a tad bit pissed off.  But as always, God had a reason.  He knew that I would need to prepare my body, my heart, my spirit, and my mind for the challenges and adventures that I would be facing in the future.  He knew that I would need the three days a week on the track and the two days a week in the weight room to get my body into the best shape possible, so that I would be able to glorify Him to the best of my ability on the soccer field.  He knew that there would be so much more for me to learn before I go—that there would be more money for me to raise, more people for me to meet with, more blogs for me to write, and more time for me to spend with my family.  I wanted to rush out, but God needed me to stay.  So this specific season is meant to prepare me and to glorify Him — whether that’s through my fitness training, my writing, my prayer and worshiping, my relationship building, or my Netflix watching.  My only responsibility is to make the most of this time while I have it, because once it’s gone, I can’t get it back.

So a word of advice… wherever you are in life, no matter how boring or how stressful this season may seem, make the most of it.  Embrace it for all that it has to offer, and trust that God has you exactly where you are for a reason and a purpose.  It may not make sense now, but I can promise you that when you look back days, months, or years later… everything will make sense.  He has all of our days laid out before Him, so He can see things that we can’t see yet.  I know it’s hard, because I struggle with it daily, but try to find comfort in that!

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“So let us not get tired of doing what is good.  At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”  

– Galatians 6:9

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  And this hope will not lead to disappointment.  For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.”

– Romans 5:3-5

Chasing What Matters: In Honor of My Running Friends

Over these past few months, a few of my friends have called me crazy, insane, and ridiculous.  They have also questioned my sanity (cough, you know who you are Rencia, cough).

Why have they done these things, you ask?

Because I started trail running.

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I don’t blame them, it is pretty crazy, but I absolutely love it.  I love being able to wind my way through the flowers, the rocks, and the shrubbery as a sweet South African breeze accompanies me down a single track.  I love hearing the birds chirp above me and the creek flowing beside me as I weave my way through the trees next to the Coetzenburg fields.  Because for me, running is a breath of fresh air.  It clears my head and it calms my spirit.

Not to mention, the races I attend provide me with a great opportunity to bond with all of the other “crazy and insane people” who plan on running beside me.

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To be honest, I think I love those people more than I love the running itself.  Every single one of my fellow runners is different from the other.  They break the typical “runner’s mold” when it comes to stereotypes, and they bring a whole lot of excitement and laughter to the starting line.  Each runner has a unique story to be told filled with varying amounts of hope, joy, pain, and trial.  I have already learned so many things from these incredible and inspirational men and women… and my running journey has only just begun.

I used to think that being a “good and successful runner” meant that you were fast, you wore Nike’s, and your body was as skinny as a rail (I don’t know about you, but I have thunder thighs thanks to playing soccer and my mom and dad’s genetics).  I used to think that you had to receive a medal every time you crossed the finish line, and that you had to get a “personal best” after each run.  In year’s past, I was always too focused on “me and my race” to even notice the amazing people around me.  I wanted to be good enough, fast enough, and fit enough, but I was missing the purpose of why I loved running in the first place.

We all run for different reasons and we all run at different paces.  We sprint with different strides and we breathe in different rhythms.  We represent different ages and we speak many different languages.  Some of us compete against each other, while others compete against themselves.  Some of us talk while we run, and some of us are too busy just trying to breathe so we don’t pass out in the middle of nowhere.  But we all run the race with the same goal of finishing (and we run the race together).  And honestly, I think that’s beautiful.

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I realized that my success as a runner, as a human being, and as a Christian isn’t dependent on how well I perform.  Similar to my running ideology, I used to think that to be a “good missionary,” I had to perform exceptionally well to win the approval of God and those around me.  I thought that I needed to attend hundreds of outreaches, have most of the bible memorized, and get a whole bunch of people “saved.”  I thought that I needed to be better, work harder, and pray longer than those around me, but again I was missing the point.

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Deep down, all I really craved from God and from people was recognition (both as a Christian and as an athlete).  I wanted to be noticed and I wanted to be seen and loved as a person of value.  But God reminded me that I am loved and valued not because of what I do, but because of who I am.  I am loved for being “His Sam” (no questions asked).  So whether I come in first place or last place, or whether I pray for hours or pray for seconds, I am loved.  I don’t need a medal, an award, or a certificate to prove my worth.  My value isn’t something that needs to be earned, it is something that is bestowed, and that takes all of the pressure off of me to “do well.”  This means that I am totally and completely free, and because of that freedom, I get to experience the abundant joy of living as a Daughter of the King.

Oswald Chambers said in My Utmost For His Highest, “The true test of a saint’s life is not successfulness but faithfulness on the human level of life.  We tend to set up success in Christian work as our purpose, but our purpose should be to display the glory of God in human life, to live a life “hidden with Christ in God” in our everyday human condition.”

I don’t want others to see Christ in me only when I’m at church or only when I am on the streets spending time with women in prostitution.  I want people to see Christ in me all the time.  This means that His light should shine through me while I am:  running on a trail up in the mountains, drinking a beer while I watch a rugby match, speaking to high school kids about human trafficking, playing video games with my little brother, or kicking some serious booty on the soccer field.  Colossians 3:17 (the MSG) says, “Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.” 

So, to sum it all up…

I no longer run to prove my worth (and it’s the greatest feeling in the world!).  I run to bring glory to God both in life and on the trails.  He gave me two healthy and muscular legs, and I want to use them to their greatest potential before it’s too late.  My goal now is for others to see and to know the grace and forgiveness and love and mercy of Christ through my actions and words in everything I do.  He is the reason why I wake up with a smile on my face, and He is the reason why I run through the mountains with joy in my heart and peace in my soul.

So, I’d like to end with a quick shout out to all of my fellow running friends:

Thank you guys for being 100% you, for not compromising who you are, and for being brave enough to step out onto the starting line.  Thank you for teaching me that there is beauty and strength in diversity.  Thank you for welcoming me in as a part of your family, and for sharing your stories and your struggles with me.  You all have inspired me and motivated me to tell my own story and to use it for the benefit of others.  I am beyond blessed to know you and to run beside you.  See you at the next race!